I finally watched King Kong, aka King Long. I stole
that one from Junior. And that’s the truth. While watching it, I never felt like the movie was dragging, but it seems crazy long looking back. Here are some thoughts, scribbled in the dark while watching the movie. Eventually I decided to just watch the movie.
- There’s a scene where Jack Black stops a fruit seller from attacking Naomi Watts after she steals an apple from a food cart. Then Jack stumbles across a magical lamp and Robin Williams comes out.
- Where the hell are the dinosaurs?
- “Adrien! Good to see you man. How’s Solo doing?”
- This ship captain is intense.
- This black guy is even more intense.
- This Chinese guy is intense…ly stereotypical.
- This native kid is scarier than Samara.
- This native grandma is scarier than the kid
- I’m amazed by the power a woman has on a bunch of dudes who haven’t seen another female in ages. To bring her back, they paddle tiny boats through death water to fight a crazy ass tribe that has lava ceremonies to worship a giant gorilla. And I’d probably be doing the same thing.
- At least I’d see dinosaurs, where the hell are they?
- Apparently, the crew killed every single native.
- “Petrie, Cera’s wrong. This isn’t the Great Valley”
- These long necks are pusses, running for miles and miles at top speed. Like Dan going to the Phat Girlz premiere.
- The raptors in Jurassic Park looked better.
- The raptor in Raptor did not.
- This giant worm reminds me of Cell swallowing the androids in Dragon Ball Z
- How’d they get him on the ship? He’s 25 feet tall. They can’t get him on ship, that’s not real.
- Because an island with dinosaurs, bugs that acted in Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, and a 25-foot gorilla is real.
- The ending was no surprise, but it was still sad.
Not that sad though. I feel for him, but he did cause a lot of deaths in the city. And he was on his way to killing every blonde in New York. They had no other choice. Good movie. It felt half an hour too long, but I have no idea what could have been cut.
I’m giving this the same rating as High School Musical. Now, does this necessarily mean I think a Disney Channel Original Movie and a 3-hour epic directed by Peter Jackson should even be compared? Am I saying that High School Musical is as good as King Kong? Yes.